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Thursday, January 7, 2010

venus in furs

  

Can you tell the difference?
Look, I'm not animal rights activist and I have enjoyed my fair share of baconators in my day but, there really is no need to wear real fur. Fur coats and vests are definately a luxurious winter style staple and very popular this season but, the faux fur coats/vests/etc. are honestly just as striking without actually striking real animals.
There is just simply no reason, other than to pathetically promote one's petty social/financial/blah, blah status.
Just stick to the fake stuff.
OH PS...the one on the left is the real one.


I am so excited!
One of my favorite websites, the company of people, is having a new exhibition in a couple of weeks!  I was fortunate to stumble across this site featuring several very gifted photographers, illustrators, collagers?, painters, etc. via another lovely blog I encountered about six months ago. I am constantly browsing the website for new inspiration and eye catching art.
I feel so fortunate to live a mere 2 hours away from LA! 




-Landon Metz




-Jonnie Craig


I really want to travel.
After a movie watching binge (Inglorious Basterds, 500 Days of Summer, Up, Harry Potter #5, and Cinderella) and then talking to my friend about her experience of living in London to study abroad for 3 months, I just really want to go. (somewhere?)
I love travelling, especially by myself. I love the annonymity I feel when I am in a new setting away from home, friends, familiar places and faces, just new surrounding and new types of people. Of course, I don't view this as a routine or permanent way of life. though it's so nice to step outside of my box once in awhile, even if I am just flying somewhere for a couple of days to work. Even airports, each is so different and unique, according to where it is located. Varying types of travellers, luggage wear, shops and food places inside, attitudes, level of friendliness, and UN-friendliness in the case of New York's JFK...
I also love going on the plane itself, as well. Everytime I am on a plane by myself, I feel like I am free from my usual stress overflowing world for a little bit. Especially, if there is a beautiful view out the window, or just plain darkness is always interesting and tranquilizing/exhilerating too. While many people find flying and travelling to be a very anxiety ridden experience, I ironically, find it to be quite the contrary despite my anxiety and panic disorders.

Anyway, my experience of travelling to Europe this Summer was just as thought provoking and mind widening as I had anticipated. What I love about European culture how they are so appreciative for the simple, non material, practices and peple in their lives. There, everything, every moment is truly cherished. Lunch everyday, for example, is not a quickie 30 minute fast food break. They actually sit down for a minimun of an hour or two and enjoy a fresh meal and glass of wine while talking and enjoying their food with their loved ones. And they are very religious about it.
They are not uber concerned about being habitual or always on time because, these workers are dedicated to their families, their friends, their lives as well. It was interesting to see how when our treino was delayed, there were no notifications or apologies of any kind. I was almost offended at first. But then, I realized, after reflecting back to what I learned in the culture portion of Italian class, that this was just a reflection of their full appreaciation and love of life.
In America, as much as I love it, we don't typically have this sense of gratefullness, "in the moment" kind of attitude for our lives and our life styles. I know for me, I am always "stuck," if you will, in the future. I am so anxious for what comes next, what I will do next, who I will see, even when I am out with friends having fun. How do I know I am even having fun if I am never focussed on what I am doing. I seem to be physically incapable for thinking, appreciating, loving, understanding, etc. what's in the moment. I never realize how wonderful things (people, times, friends, lovers, experiences) until the entity, experience, or sensual feeling has passed. I don't want to be like that anymore though, I am not really sure how to change this without driving myself out of my own mind by being in my own mind way too much, if that makes sense.
I guess I just want to appreaciate all of the beauty in my life. I am working on becoming less cynical and more positive and hopeful. And, I think living in the moment, as cliche as that sounds, is a really rare thing in America because that is not what our culture publicizes or praises. We must be career-driven, goal oriented, or whatever, and we must be this way by the time we begin fucking kindergarden. What five year old knows what they want to do for a living let alone the steps to take in order to acheive that. As a college student, I am still mildly unsure and confused.



I just don't want to live the rest of my life being burried alive in constant anxiety ridden fears, expectation, hopes, and worries about the future.
I want to learn how to embrace life and learn how to sit down and just rest once in awhile. I know so many people who physically are unable to not be doing something "productive," at all times. When we are so used to being persistantly swamped all the time, when we actually have an ever so rare and extremly awaited (and needed) day off, we are so anxious to be doing something that we cannot even enjoy or appreciate it. There are so many chores and burdens, tasks, and obligations in life that are crucial to living and functioning in a normal society but, there are a lot of wonderful pleasures and people that make one happy and make life worth living. I do not want to become a slave to all the to do lists I make each week. I want to learn how to somehow balance. Something I lack any talent in.
I don't want to remain stagnant. And I feel like that is where I am headed. I am fortunate enough, at least, to be able to see that but, I am paralyzed partially in that I am unclear and unsure how to actually change this feeling, this situation, this state of being, or whatever it is and, I feel like travelling is the spice that kind of keeps me learning what is really important and what keeps me mentally and creatively aware and inspired.
I really want to go to Paris.
and Ireland, Greece, Japan, Spain, England...I mean, everywhere.
I want to see a new sunrise, hear a new language, and see different smiles and styles.


i want to fall in love with a new kind.


Fallng In LOVE
explain to me again how this works
because I only understand the falling part

the gradual downpour of eye rain and then, drowning,
the slow desinigration of the heart.
It happens so fast
the way it lasts

starting in the silk lined sky
making our way down to through the lusty clouds
only to  suddenly crash down upon
the lie
I didn't see us falling down so hard

And I didn't really see anything at all, un
til now
is this the way it works?
No, it does not always work itself out in the end some how
Such beauty and truth was fantasy, every line all a trick
Drive down your street again, one last time
I never saw anything left but the burning ashes of your cigarette's last flick

falling in love.
falling down
down
down
down
like we are drowning in a moonlit sea
light forcing my head down but, I dont want to
see...
I'm sorry I am not who you want me to be
drowning down, deeper down
but, i don't know how to get back up
and I don't know how to want to get back up
so just keep spinning in circles,
around and around.
-MM





Love, I think, is beauty, or is Beauty love?
I think both are indeed a facade.


I don't know what this is...it just makes me happy ok??!
It reminds me to keep telling myself that I am okay
 and that I have so much to be happy about.


Freja Beha shot by Bruce Weber


I am not so sure how to define o.k.?
or happy, really.
But sad would be really easy, I feel like.


where are you?