I hope everyone is nice and full and sleepy and ready to shop Black Friday sales in the morning! :)
Anyway, other than sleeping and eating all day long, I have been writing a bit and looking through photos for inspiration for my love zine. I found some wonderful photos and I have decided that I am going to title the zine "love will tear us apart," after the incredible Joy Division song and photo that i found.
This is going to be the photo featured on my love is like a cigarette page with the two poems that i did for it.
fucking rad photo
Elliott Smith <3
Andy Warhol 1983
photography from
the companyofpeople.com
(in photography section)
bizarrely beautiful movie and lovely lighting in this photo
the sexy brandon boyd
not a fan of incubus but, damn
jagger and faithful
corey at the elliott smith memorial wall
in la
Leonard Cohen with joni mitchell
Also...here are a couple of poems i wrote (very rough keep in mind)
And this is how it feels
this is how it feels
never ending, spinning wheels
I can't breathe as my heart is bending
watch me suffer slowly, melting away your ideals
this is what its like to wish-
that I wanted you to feel like this
the initial intoxicating bliss
is so darkly contrasted with its
evil opposite
this is how i know i loved you
when i watch the sad sun set
red fading to blue
as i bow my head down low
vomitting regret.
as i wake up each day like relief after a nightmare
only its not a dream-
sadly i'm alive some how, some way, some where
and just like in June, i can still feel
and this is how i know it's real.
I hate you so much
and I miss you so badly,
as I watch you just walk away
so easily, so gladly
and this is how it feels...
-Mia Maguire
Nov. 2009
every day, pain will not blow away
biting into the poison apple
and driving down your street
again, one day, this day, this pain-
everyday, in some way,
is all the same.
Looking for truth, though looking through it-
on your block with no honest microscope to spare
whether or not it was worth this
down the empty streets, with all the time in the world
yet, no time to care.
watching the sun set into the blue
now, then, again, when?
I am not trying to forget its abandoned hue.
I am not returning to the spot of ours
the place where we used to lie
and get lost in its spiraling view
And I am not anticipating the next time, the next one, and now
and the time where you will not let me start over new
the same day, everyway, the same songs
they play over and over, and the songs that will not
let you just fade away...
just stay.
you don't though though they never fade away
and i don't want them to, in a way
like everyday,
because i miss you.
I
just
miss
you.
-Mia Maguire
Nov. 2009
The following poem is just a short one (perhaps incomplete, though i'm not sure just yet), written about a wonderful friend who is, in theory, perfect for me and I kind of wish I could fall in love with him. But, maybe that's why were such great friends.
If only
The way you speak and the way you think
the way you look at her
and the way you stare at me
how you hug and, how you still believe in Love
why I still choke each day though you see the light in me
far more than he.
-Mia Maguire
Nov. 2009
Micalaneous News...
1. I just saw Twilight for the second time this evening. I know it's quite pathetic especially being that I have never even read the books. HOwever, I did try after seeing the second one, New Moon. The writing was so horrible that it, ironically, ruined the movie for me, which is pretty rare and usually the contrary. But look, Edawrd Cullen is so beautiful in every way and even the new warewolf, Jacob had me drooling. My word! the kids is only 16...wow, i cannot believe I am writing about this right now!
2. I am really, really, obssessed with this new nail polish color by chnanel called Jade. Karl Lagerfeld even had all of his models wearing the spunky green color in his fall ready to wear show. I love, love, love it! It's a bit pricey though, at $19 for a teeny, tiny little bottle so, I have been looking for knockoffs. I found one of OPI's new colors, Green-wich village to be pretty comprable to to Jade.
Here is brittish fashionista, Alex Chung sporting the quirky color!
(Kind of hard to see, I apologize!)
3. Current Playlist
Since becoming a little obssessed with the new twilight movie, I listened to its soundtrack which features Lykke Li, Editors, Death Cab, Sea wolf, Grizzly Bear, and Bon Iver, and others. Its an epic soundtrack even if you totally hate the fucking saga !
other than that....
Talking Heads-air
Elliott Smith-thirteen
the cranberries-dreams (oldie but, goodie!)
Bob Dylan-sarah
Joy Division-atmosphere
Yo La Tengo-you can have it all
The Smiths-stop me if you think that you've heard this one before
The Velvet Underground-rock and roll
David Bowie-heroes
Le Tigre-deceptacon (an old high school favorite, brought back to life!)
Andre Nickatina-killer whale
Fall and Winter time seem to make me very nostalgic of past falls and winters in particular, the fall and winter of 2008. I changed a lot as a person and became all in all more happy and in control of my life. Slowly, I feel like I lost that control along the way and turned to unhealthy habits to try to turn that around causing me to become more and more anxious and beginning the cycle of misery again. Now that I am single again, I feel like I have more time to myself which is so nice. I have more time to think and just kind of be without anyone interfering with that special time or creating unintentional obligations for me to commit to. Its been nice. I have learned a lot of lessons this past year within both my personal and financial lives. I feel like I have really grown as a person and have gotten to know myself much better as well. Being alone right now is really good for me i feel like despite the initial sense of loss and emptiness. I feel like I have become much closer to my family without actually spending more time with them if that makes any sense what so ever. Just being at home and seeing my mom and my sister each day because I subconciously need their support has strengthen both relationships. Also, of course me starting to work with children has enriched my life so much. It really reduces my anxiety and unrational fear of aging so much because it gives me something to look foward to. I know that I am not multi talented in many areas of life but, I know that I will make a great mother.
Anyway, random tangent or rant, whichever but, perhaps it was appropriate for Thanksgiving. Happy holidays :)
